Experiences From the Flow (22)- Farang: It’s Songkran. Hide Your Wallet! Part 2

By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo, Copyright April 2008

(Author “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor,” Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)

“Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that’s good in life…”

*Below is the twentieth episode based on a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in “My Friend Yu – the Prosperity Mentor: Book II,” Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.

- They NEVER go away for good. -

I didn’t hear from her for about three weeks. I was beginning to think I’d escaped the hassles and horrors that usually accompany breaking up with a girlfriend in Thailand.

But then the inevitable happened. Noot called me and said she was nearby and wanted to “talk.”

- The Taxi -

Although suspicious, I said “Chai, tee rak” (yes, darling). I honestly was missing her everyday since she left. The only thing that bolstered my resolve was the constant flirting of almost every other woman in the vicinity of my condo.

Of course, my numerous forays into Bangkok “eased the pain” quite a bit too!

When Noot arrived (one hour late) in the taxi, I left the lobby, jumped in the cab, and said, “Bai Daddy’s Home, kraap (Go to “Daddy’s Home,” a modern, foreign style restaurant, bar, and karaoke that I like - located near Future Park)” to the driver.

The driver was confused. Obviously, he thought he was taking his customer to see a Farang (foreigner) at the high-class condominium complex. Since I am Asian, the driver looked at me and assumed that I was a Thai man.

Noot asked for the taxi driver’s cell number and said to wait for her call. She didn’t realize that I’d spent the last three weeks intensively upgrading my Thai skills and now understood most of what she and the driver were saying. The driver could tell that I understood and was visibly uncomfortable.

Noot was oblivious. She declined the offer for dinner, drinks, and karaoke at Daddy’s Home. She got out of the taxi and headed straight for the lobby of my condo.

The driver asked for 350 baht! I said “Tam mai (why)?” He said that it was a long trip. So much for the truth. Noot said she was “glai” – short word (meaning: nearby), not “g-l-a-i” – long word (meaning: far)” when she called.

I looked at the taxi meter. Of course, it wasn’t on. I said, “Mai dai! Pang maak! (I can’t! It’s too expensive!)” We settled on 200 baht – still way too expensive, but I had other, more immediate issues to deal with (meaning, Noot in the lobby without me).

- Halt! Who goes there? -

She got to the front desk before me. An argument ensued and the staff physically blocked her from going to the elevators because they knew that she was not my girlfriend anymore. When I finally caught up with her, I told the security staff that it was okay.

Noot looked furious and upset.

The taxi debacle had me extra paranoid. In the two months of being “girlfriendless” (my first two months in Thailand), I already knew - from many painful experiences - the makings of the ole’ “hit and run” scam when I saw it. I wasn’t going to be a victim again.

Too bad. The con games, lies, callousness, and outright exploitation of kind-hearted, honest men, so commonly seen among Thai women (whether in “The Game” or not) was the main reason why I chose to have a regular, live-in girlfriend.

As an aside, I am not saying that men are always the victims.

The biggest reason there is so much distrust between Farang men and Thai women is the temporary nature and reciprocal callousness of most Farangs.

For Thai women, a kind-hearted, honest man (Farang or Thai) can really be hard to find.

Furthermore, the double-standard held against women in Thai society allows men (both Farang and Thai) to generally fool around on their wives and girlfriends.

Thai society always blames the woman for unsuccessful relationships.

It [Thai society] lays the fault of any broken relationship squarely on the woman’s shoulders, not the man’s. No matter the reason for the break-up, everyone assumes that she wasn’t a “good enough” woman to “keep” her man. Too add insult to injury, now she will be viewed as “used goods,” and will most likely be shunned by all Thai men.

With all these things hovering over Thai women, I can see why they are “the way they are.” Most are just protecting themselves from the emotional pain, public shame, and financial ruin from a temporary relationship with a fly-by-night Romeo.

Knowing the above, it’s no wonder why most Thai women want to keep their boyfriends from meeting their families, friends, and colleagues (keeping them totally secret) until eminent marriage is secured.

The repercussions from a break-up can often be devastating and have long-lasting negative effects on the rest of their lives (e.g., huge loss of “face” for the woman and her family; and now that she is judged as “impure” by Thai society, any future “sin-sot” – the dowry given to the family of a Thai bride - automatically diminishes or vanishes altogether).

- Turn on/off tears -

In my room, I asked Noot why she wanted the taxi driver’s number - wasn’t she going to stay for awhile? Surprised that I understood what happened in the taxi, she remained silent for a few, long seconds. Then, as if on cue, she burst into tears. Trembling, she laid her head on my shoulder. (I hate it/love it when women did that.)

Yes, the tears were real, but I already knew how she could instantly perform an academy award-winning scene at will. Her histrionics amused me, but I wasn’t buying into it for even one second. I swear, she must have been a soap opera star in a past life!

She told me that she missed me, but had to go home for Songkran. And, of course, she was broke.

She said that if I give her money to go home, she would come right back to me – if I wanted her to. She kept saying that she loved and missed me over and over again.

I said that if she loved me, she would not have done so many bad things to me.

She said she had changed and would be a good wife now.

I said that I was sorry, but I do not give money to women who do not live with me.

She continued to sob, wale, and convulse. I went to the bathroom to get some tissue. While in the bathroom, I realized that the beers I drank while waiting for Noot were now screaming to leave my body. As I stood there relieving myself, I could hear the rustling of bags in my bedroom.

Not wanting to give away when I was coming out of the bathroom, I didn’t flush the toilet, and quietly opened the door.

The bedroom was empty. When I went into the living room, I saw Noot hurriedly stuffing some hats and shirts we’d bought during our last shopping excursion into some large “Lotus, Robinson, and Central” shopping bags. She looked totally guilty. I said, “Mai bpen arai, tee rak.”

While she turned on the tear faucet again, she pleaded with me for “go home money.”

I stood my ground.

- Cruelty is Sexy? -

When she finally realized that I’d changed (I’d actually grown a set of balls while she was away), she stopped begging. Then I saw that familiar look on her face and in her eyes. She was horny! Can you believe it? My obstinacy was turning her on! She jumped onto me, wrapped her arms and legs around me, and starting to passionately kiss me!

As Noot began unbuckling my belt, I couldn’t help thinking that this must be why Thai men get away with so much abusive behavior? Some Thai women think it’s actually sexy! Weird.

Anyway, I didn’t give-in. I wanted to. Believe me, I REALLY wanted to! But I knew what the result of all this would be. After some (probably great) sex, she would ask for money again. And then what was I supposed to do?

Nope. This wasn’t going to happen tonight.

I bit my lip, peeled her off me, straightened my clothes, and said that it’s best that she go now. Maybe she had enough time tonight to find another sucker, I mean “friend,” that would give her money to “go home.”

Stoically, she grabbed her bags and left.

I smiled and waived to her from my balcony as she got into the taxi. (That would be the last time I would see her).

Then I went to the bathroom and flushed the toilet.

I knew I did the right thing, but it didn’t help.

I felt like I was swallowing my heart. A lone tear crept out of my left eye, traced itself down my cheek, dribbled off my chin, and in slow motion, plopped into the bowl.

Thai women. They have a kind of magic over us, don’t they?

Grabbing another beer, I went back to the balcony, smoked, and shed a couple more tears of self-pity. But within seconds, a comforting thought entered my mind. This is THAILAND! Hot and cold running women abound!

I looked into the starlit sky, thanked Noot (aloud) for the good times and hard lessons learned. I sincerely wished her a nice life. Then I felt a smile beginning inside. It started in my heart, radiated throughout my body, and before I knew it, I was back to my old self again – ready for all the exciting things to come.

“So many more adventures ahead,” I whispered to myself.

Beer and smoke finished, I immediately got ready to go out…

- Update -

A whirlwind of women have come and gone since last Songkran. Some were quite memorable. Others are better left unmentioned.

Why do I remember Noot and Songkran 2007 during Songkran 2008?

Well, it just so happens that among the dozens of women calling me this year (for Songkran money) is Noot. She called me today. With her pheromone-laced voice, she said that she wanted to meet me and just “talk.”

Feeling nostalgic, I said, “Chai, chai, tee rak.”

Same, same.

(I admit it. I’m such a sucker).…

“Until next time, find ‘The Flow’ and jump in!”

Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,

Carl “J.C.” Pantejo

Farang, Thailand, Songkran, call, SMS, girlfriend, ex, sexy, cruelty, sucker, same-same, friend.

Note: If you want to read more about Asian and Western cultural differences, finding unconditional love, exorcising past personal demons, Universal Laws, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’: From Heartbreak to Happiness”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (2): Coincidence or Synchronicity: FROM RELAPSE TO MIRACLES...”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (3): LOST AND FOUND - Kindred Spirits and Mistakes made in Haste.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (4): LOST AND FOUND – Meant to Be?”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (5): “The Stray”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (6): “New Beginnings, Old Endings”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (7) - Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Myth”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (8) Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Reality, Stupidity, and Hard Knocks.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (9): New Girlfriend, New Life.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (10): Farangs and Asians – Polarized Views.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (11) - Farangs: In (or considering) a long-term Western/Asian Relationship? Read This Now!

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (12) - Farang: Square Peg, Round Hole? Compatibility Issues.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (13) - Farang: Compatibility Issues II”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (14) - Farang: Tipping the Scales. Good or Bad?”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (15) - Farang: Interpretation of Your Results.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (16) - Farang: Make Your Scale Sway or Walk Away.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (17) - Farang: Further Interpretation. Lopsided Scales.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (18): A Good Tilt with a Bar Girl?”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (19): Another Good Tilt with a Bar Girl?”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (20): The Good Tilt - Enhancing your Compatible Relationship.”

“Experiences from ‘The Flow’ (21): Farang: It’s Songkran. Hide your wallet! Part 1”

“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path: Guardian Angels and Universal Laws.”

“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (2): Trying too hard?”

“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (3): First, Be Effective.”

“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (4): Intend. Be Certain.”

“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (5): Why me or why not me? Your choice.”

“Alternative Notions of Life, a Different Path (6): Gratitude – What’s Your Perspective?”

“How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive”

“Remember Who You Are!”

“Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness.”

“Simple (and Priceless) Life Lessons from the Most Influential Prosperity Mentor in My Life - My Father”

And much more!

(By Carl “J.C.” Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or “Carl Pantejo”)

Enjoy them, my friend.

Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com